So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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