Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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