Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
