I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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