let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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