idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
this beer tastes like vomit already
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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