Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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