I think i peed on brittanys purse
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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