wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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