whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm always down for nudity.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
