i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
