I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Its about making memories worth repressing
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
