I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
