Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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