Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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