I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
