Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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