Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ugly people sure do ruin things
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
