But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
