no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
