Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
