Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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