He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
