wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
