glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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