When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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