White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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