is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
