I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My vagina just clenched in fear
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
