I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
