when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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