marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
