Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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