look no pants
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
