That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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