I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
