someone threw a dead crab at me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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