Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
