It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
