In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
