sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
