dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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