I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
