distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
