Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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