what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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