Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
