dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hippo gnu deer
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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