i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
