roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Houston, we have a blender
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
