She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
